Hey again TUEBL-ers! Aelius here again. Remember me, you know, the one who lives here? Breaking news: I’m still here!
I really hate any kind of “sorry I haven’t been around” posts. But, TUEBL-ers, I owe you one.
So here it is: I am sorry.
Writers are supposed to be impervious. We’re supposed to be tireless, disciplined writing machines, keeping our heads down, putting word after word, letting adversity, critique, life and anything else that could get in our way bounce right off. Sticks and stones aren’t supposed to break through our alligator-thick skin.
But you know what? We’re not alligators. We’re human.
Bleh, I know. It sucks.
And when it comes to writing, I’ve got a thick skin. I mean, I learned to write on the internet for god’s sake. Do you know what an internet critique group is like? Think 4chan with more pretentiousness and less decorum. So yeah I’ve got my alligator hide well-fitted. I can take the red pens, the form-letter rejections, and the one-star reviews.
But when I look up from the page, the alligator hide falls away.
And I just can’t shed that goddamn human–ness.
I’m a sensitive gal. Although I can take critique in writing, in life I just don’t like confrontation. When the flames start flying, I like to take shelter.
Last month, there there were flames.
If you were around before Thanksgiving, you saw the angry mob come out in full force with their pitchforks and torches. Although I don’t actually run TUEBL1, the angry mob doesn’t make that distinction. And you know what? Having a mob come after you sucks. (And here’s a gigantic THANK YOU, by the way, to those of you who spoke up to support our little library during the last mob of angry trollfaces! ) I’ve explained before that TUEBL only links to CheapassFiction because there just aren’t that many blogs talking about libraries – especially not the digital ones. And you know what? Now I totally understand why.
But you know what else? I lied.
This isn’t an apology post at all. This is a post to say that I am done taking shelter.
I’m done retreating. I’m done letting the mobs and pitchforks and torches and trollfaces get to me. I want to be here. This is my blog, and I stand by it, TUEBL posts and all. I am not ashamed to admit that I’m human and I HATE it when people break out in angry hysterical mobs instead of having civilized conversation. I hate it. BUT, I’m here because……… well, because it’s my blog, for one. But I’m here supporting TUEBL because I believe in the service that TUEBL provides to the world. I believe in the crucial role of libraries in our community – on and offline. I believe in the value of access to books for readers. I believe in the necessity of adaption – and survival – for writers. And I believe in the powerful opportunity that the digital world brings to creators.
If TUEBL can take those principles and build them into reality, then how can I not support it?
No more retreating.
1. In case you haven’t figured it out by now, TUEBL is run by Travis. Travis occasionally posts here when he has some official announcement or something he wants to say right to the community, but otherwise, he’s busy, you know, actually running TUEBL. So 99% 2 of posts on this blog are my own, they are just my own thoughts on writing, reading, politics, and kittens. Especially kittens.
2. No, I didn’t actually do the math. But I’ve been blogging here for like 3 years, and Travis has posted thrice. So whatever the percent of this blog that’s mine, it’s pretty damn close to 100.