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Ever tried explaining Lord of the Rings to someone?  A non-fantasy reader?

Well, there’s this ring and it’s, magic.  And it’s also evil so people want to destroy it, but it’s, like, power-evil, not spell-evil.  Also, it’s basically indestructible so they have to go to this, um, fire in a mountain to destroy it.  Anyway, they get some help from elves and dwarves and stuff.

Yeah.  That’s why we got made fun of in high school.

The thing that sucks the most about writing is telling people about it.  Some writers are good at the blurb-writing skills, and that’s a useful talent to cultivate.  But when you’re neck deep in the first draft, sometimes there’s really just no good way to explain what the hell you’re doing.  Even when the project is awesome.  Even if it’s LOTR.

It’s hard.

You either get lost in the quirks (e.g. elves & dwarves) or you bore everyone with the basic theme/plot that is basically the same as every fucking book ever made ever.  I mean, I feel terrible for romance authors.  Can you imagine telling your friends over breakfast….

Hey, guys, I have this great idea for a story!  So there’s this guy and he likes this girl, and they can’t be together, but in the end…. they can.  Isn’t that great?

Yeah.  Sure it is.

It could be a great book.  In fact it already is.  Several in fact.  Pitching ideas is hard.  It’s difficult enough when the projects all done and you can step back and look at what it is.  Seems nearly impossible when you’re still lost in the construction of the thing.

I generally avoid pitches.

You may have noticed I’ve put up a couple itty-bitty clips of my current post-NaNoWriMo project.  This is only one of them. The other project has to to with a one-armed vampire and a wall and a mirror and…. you don’t even want to go there yet. But the focus of my work right now is a story I am oh-so-creatively calling His Name.  Nope, it’s not about Jesus.  And, I’m so into the writing right now, I’m just… just not even going to try.  Not even going to…

Ok, so I have this idea of a futuristic society based on ancestor worship.  But they’re not worshiping grandma, they’re worshipping like, our ancestors.  Like Human ancestors–like, Lucy and shit.  Basically the whole family tree, with the cousins and the dead-ends and all that.  And, um, people can go back in time to grab the poor little hominids and bring them back to the temples.  [Oh god, what the hell was I thinking?]   Also, you know how some people think they can understand what your pet’s “saying”?  Whelp… there’s people who think they can talk to the non-human hominids too.  Like, interpret their calls and stuff.  [Um, I don’t even know…] They’re called translators.

So, yeah.

That’s what that is.  In case anyone was curious.  Maybe one day I’ll get the hang of this pitch stuff.  Now I’m going to get back to some actual writing.

2 Responses to “Crazy Pitches”

  1. keytopservices

    The key to writing a great pitch is to focus exclusively on what makes your project unique from all others.

    Don’t worry about providing a precise overview of the plot. You want to create interest, not summarize the story.

  2. tmacmccrea

    There are various genres and niches though that you can use to help describe a book:

    “In a classic adventure novel, JRR Tolkien takes two loveable hobbits on a quest that will change their lives forever: A quest to destroy an all powerful ring of evil. Along the way they will meet other adventurers from Middle Earth… but will they complete their task before being consumed by the evil that is the One Ring?”

    You get caught up in the details. The reader by reading something like that will get drawn into the premise of the book “okay it’s an epic fantasy adventure novel” and have a rough understanding of what they will expect in said novel.


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